Get into the swing - starting to swing with Alenda swingers
As we are both well known swingers, we have been asked by many men and women:
How do I get into the swinging lifestyle?, or how do I get my partner into swinging?
- Never try to drag an unwilling partner into the scene. It will almost certainly cause problems in your relationship if you have not discussed and agreed that you both want to swing.
- If you are interested in swinging, and your partner shares fantasies of new/different partners with you, then you are part way there, but a fantasy during sex does not necessarily mean that the person wants to turn that fantasy into reality. Talk about the idea in daylight, away from the bedroom. Show them a swingers website, see what their reactions are, but do not push too hard.
- Once you are in agreement that you want to explore your fantasies, make sure that you are agreed on what you both want before you make the first contact.
- Over the years we have met hundreds of couples, and we have found that most males think that it was their idea to start swinging. However when the husbands are not around, the wives will often confide that it was their idea, they just planted the idea in their husbands head, and let them think it was their idea.
How do we start?
- Create an identity on this website. Enter as much detail as you feel comfortable entering, remembering that the more you enter, the more likely you are to find people matching your fantasy.
- The hardest part of swinging is making the first contact with another swinger, or visiting your first swingers club or party. Everyone in the scene has been a newcomer, so most swingers will try and make your first contact as easy as possible.
- Dont be shy, everyone in the swinging scene is there for the same reason - to have sexual experiences with people other than their usual partners.
- Most swinging originates from pillow talk between couples out to enhance their sex life. These fantasies cover lots of different combinations of other people in many different situations, so it is important that when you write to people you make sure they are looking for people like you, and that they are what you are looking for.
- If you are a couple, sit down and work out exactly what you are looking for, don`t try to push your partner beyond their comfort zone, either when deciding on your requirements, or when you have a meeting with others. You will find that once your are swinging, you will both change what you want.
- If you are a single female, spend some time working out who you want to meet. Remember that as a single female, you are going to be swamped by responsses from guys and couples, most single guys will not even read your profile, so you need to be firm when sorting through your responses to weed out the people who do not appeal to you.
- Single males. You will have the hardest time making contact. You are by far the most numerous group advertising, and as a result, you will have to work harder to find people to ¨play¨ with. Make sure you write a full advert explaining who you are and what you are looking for. Post some pictures avoid just cock shots, most women are turned off by a profile where the pictures are just a series of your best friend in various states of arousal. Only respond to peopes adverts where they are looking for people like you.
As we explain in the section "What is swinging", Swinging covers lots of different areas, so you need to try and find people who are looking for the same type of swinging experience as you are.
The best way to make sure you get the right sort of contact, is to make your profile on this site as detailed as you can, without writing a book. So many people write just one or two lines, then complain to us when their respondents are not what they are looking for. Remember also that as your swinging experience grows, your fantasies will change, and the people you are looking for will also change, so remember to come back and update your profile to explain your new requirements.
Don`t be afraid to say no, and don`t get upset when people say no to you. Just as in any type of relationship there are people who are not going to appeal to you, and you will not appeal to everyone. People normally look for people at the same level of attractiveness as themselves, as life partners, as friends and as playmates.
When you have found someone you want to meet, and who wants to meet you, set the initial meeting to be in a safe area such as a restaurant, bar, or club/party. This way if you decide you have made a mistake the person/people are not inside your home, and if they turn out to be stalkers they will not know where you live.
If for any reason you are not going to get to your meeting, ring or text them so that they do not waste their time sitting around waiting for you.